{"id":35,"date":"2003-06-28T18:58:15","date_gmt":"2003-06-28T22:58:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tradermike.net\/movethecrowd\/2003\/06\/notorious_big_biggie_smalls_lyrical_skills\/"},"modified":"2003-06-28T18:58:15","modified_gmt":"2003-06-28T22:58:15","slug":"notorious_big_biggie_smalls_lyrical_skills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/2003\/06\/28\/notorious_big_biggie_smalls_lyrical_skills\/","title":{"rendered":"Notorious B.I.G. (Biggie Smalls) Lyrical Skills"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Shop<\/div>\n

As sort of a follow-up to my greatest MCs list<\/a>, I thought I’d post this e-mail I’ve been saving for years. It shows how creative and efficient Biggie was with his lyrics.
\n
\nNOTORIOUS B.I.G. SONG TRANSLATION AS A TRIBUTE TO THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. …<\/p>\n

This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student who
\n received the highest honors at the school district’s ebonics
\n translation competition.<\/p>\n

Assignment:
\n Please translate the following song lyrics from ebonics to standard
\n English.<\/p>\n

Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
\n Album: Ready to Die
\n Song: One more chance (remix)<\/p>\n

LYRICS:
\n First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
\n Dummies – playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money
\n Those the ones I like ’cause they don’t get nathan’
\n But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
\n Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
\n Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
\n However, I stay coochied down to the socks
\n Rings and watch filled with rocks<\/p>\n

TRANSLATION:
\n As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all
\n kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude
\n magazine models, and whores. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters
\n with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact
\n that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of
\n course, they
\n douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive,
\n I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some
\n regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and
\n expensive jewelery.<\/p>\n

Lyrics:
\n And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi
\n Girls pee pee when they see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee
\n As I lay down laws like I lay carpet
\n Stop it – if you think your gonna make a profit<\/p>\n

TRNSL:
\n I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women
\n enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when they see me
\n driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American reservations,
\n some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women attempt to seduce
\n me in their homes. Their intent is to divest me of my earnings. Such
\n actions are unacceptable.<\/p>\n

Lyrics:
\n Don’t see my ones, don’t see my guns – get it
\n Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it
\n In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia
\n I don’t know what the hell’s stoppin’ ya
\n I’m clockin’ ya – Versace shades watchin’ ya
\n Once ya grin, I’m in, game begin<\/p>\n

TRNSL:
\n Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons.
\n I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent
\n sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior
\n Mafia. I’m having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to
\n approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my
\n expensives glasses, and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will
\n approach you.<\/p>\n

Lyrics:
\n First I talk about how I dress and this
\n And diamond necklesses – stretch Lexuses
\n The sex is just immaculate from the back I get
\n Deeper and deeper – help ya reach the
\n Climax that your man can’t make
\n Call and tell him you’ll be home real late
\n Let’s sing the break<\/p>\n

TRNSL:
\n I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe
\n and jewelery, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars.
\n This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse
\n with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter
\n you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I
\n understand
\n this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn’t be
\n concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and inform him
\n that you won’t be home for a while. By the way, please sing the chorus
\n of the song for me also.<\/p>\n

Lyrics:
\n She’s sick of that song on how it’s so long
\n Thought he worked his until I handled my biz
\n There I is – major pain like Damon Wayans
\n Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan
\n Schemin’ – don’t bring your girl ’round me
\n True player for real, ask Puff Daddy<\/p>\n

TRNSL:
\n Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your fabrications
\n about the length of your member. After I had sexual intercourse with
\n your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper way it is supposed
\n to be performed; violently and immorally. It would be in your best
\n interest to keep your woman away from me as my sexual prowess is very
\n strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy.<\/p>\n

Lyrics:
\n You – ringin’ bells with bags from Chanel
\n Baby Benz, traded in your Hyundai Excel
\n Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell
\n She beeped me, meet me at twelve<\/p>\n

TRNSL:
\n Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep with
\n bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end model Mercedes
\n Benz which you financed by signing over your current vehicle)
\n containing an expensive stereo and a cellular phone, your woman has
\n contacted me through my pager indicating that we should rendezvous at
\n midnight.<\/p>\n

Lyrics:
\n Where you at? Flippin’ jobs, playin’ car notes?
\n While I’m swimmin’ in ya women like the breast stroke
\n Right stroke, left stroke what’s the best stroke
\n Death stroke – tongue all down her throat
\n Nuthin’ left to do but send her home to you
\n I’m through – can ya sing the song for me, boo?<\/p>\n

TRNSL:
\n You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to maintain
\n payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your woman.
\n Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and commit lewd
\n osculatory acts with your women. My only remaining option is to
\n request that they leave my home and return to you because I have
\n reached orgasm and no longer have a need for their presence.<\/p>\n

Lyrics:
\n So, what’s it gonna be? Him or me?
\n We can cruise the world with pearls
\n Gator boots for girls
\n The envy of all women, crushed linen
\n Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in ’em
\n The finest women I love with a passion
\n Ya man’s a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin’<\/p>\n

TRNSL:
\n The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as your
\n sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world. I will
\n dress you in the finest jewelery and footwear. You will be envied by
\n women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelery. There is a special
\n place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat your man in an
\n altercation because he is effeminate.<\/p>\n

Lyrics:
\n High fashion – flyin’ into all states
\n Sexin’ me while your man masturbates
\n Isn’t this great? Your flight leaves at eight
\n Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds
\n Lyrically I’m supposed to represent
\n I’m not only the client, I’m the player president<\/p>\n

TRNSL:
\n You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I will
\n fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewelery. You
\n will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be forced to
\n pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a life! I’ll
\n return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o’clock flight. The
\n timing is perfect becuase I have scheduled a date with a second woman
\n who arrives at the same gate at 9 o’clock. I’ll seduce her in the
\n same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive
\n reflection of my hometown. Not only am I a sexually deviant,
\n misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the
\n board of directors of the organization that governs others of my
\n kind.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As sort of a follow-up to my greatest MCs list, I thought I’d post this e-mail I’ve been saving for years. It shows how creative and efficient Biggie was with his lyrics.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":76,"url":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/2003\/07\/14\/my_favorite_hip-hop_albums\/","url_meta":{"origin":35,"position":0},"title":"My Favorite Hip-Hop Albums","date":"July 14, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been moved to do a few more music posts by some other posts I've seen recently. And also as a continuation of my 22 greatest MCs post. Many of those posts are on the excellent J-Notes blog, which mainly focuses on jazz and R&B (James took me back with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Music"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":292,"url":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/2004\/03\/20\/kool_mo_dees_new_book_ranks_the_50_greatest_mcs\/","url_meta":{"origin":35,"position":1},"title":"Kool Mo Dee’s New Book Ranks the 50 Greatest MCs","date":"March 20, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Let the greatest MC argument begin anew. Kool Mo Dee was on Tavis Smiley's show last night promoting his new book, There's a God on the Mic: The True 50 Greatest MCs. It seems that Mo Dee, like many of us, was moved to make his own list after seeing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Music"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"http:\/\/www.awltovhc.com\/image-1550889-10282364","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":427,"url":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/2004\/12\/14\/yes_black_english_is_a_dialect_argh\/","url_meta":{"origin":35,"position":2},"title":"Yes, Black English is a Dialect! Argh!!!!","date":"December 14, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"There are a couple of very interesting threads about 'Ebonics' (African-American Vernacular English - AAVE) over at Oliver Willis' blog - \"Acting White\" & Reality - I Be Talking Good, Yo. It never ceases to amaze me how people, Oliver included, can assume that AAVE has no rules. Believe me,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Race"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5,"url":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/2003\/06\/23\/22_greatest_mcs\/","url_meta":{"origin":35,"position":3},"title":"22 Greatest MCs","date":"June 23, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Anyone catch MTV's 22 Greatest MC show? The moment they announced number 22 I knew we were gonna have beef. Their list was the result of a public poll, so I have to give a little slack given all the youngsters that likely voted. (Learn your history!) And I do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Music"","img":{"alt_text":"Shop at Amazon.com","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/rcm-images.amazon.com\/images\/G\/01\/rcm\/468x240.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":352,"url":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/2004\/07\/03\/chuck_d_takes_over_trio_tv\/","url_meta":{"origin":35,"position":4},"title":"Chuck D Takes over Trio TV","date":"July 3, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"If you get the Trio channel you may want to take a look at their line-up for the week or so. Here's what's up: TV is a powerful thing. See what happens when Chuck D takes over TRIO. Movies, music and documentaries, chosen by Chuck D. Powerful pop culture that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "TV"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":344,"url":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/2004\/06\/18\/diggin_in_the_crates_boogie_down_productions_krs-one\/","url_meta":{"origin":35,"position":5},"title":"Diggin’ in the Crates: Boogie Down Productions & KRS-ONE","date":"June 18, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"I was in the barber shop a couple of weeks ago and they were bumpin' BDP's Ghetto Music at the request of my barber. So during our conversation about how ill Kris is, and the current state of hip hop I got the idea of doing a Radio.Blog featuring KRS-ONE.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Music"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.michaelseneadza.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}